Why our Goals Suck
Why our goal setting sucks, and why we will never achieve our sucky goals.
The most common times for goal setting is New Year’s and Birthdays. Then, a few weeks go by and we notice we are not only off track, but we have already forgotten the goals we set.
That’s because most of us set our goals ass backwards. We think of our goals as accomplishments rather than journeys. And because we don’t ask ourselves why we want what we want, we easily give up at the first sign of challenge.
There is a golden rule of the universe, in my opinion…
That which you desire has been deliberately put out of your reach so you can become the person who is worthy of receiving it.
That requires a whole different outlook and entirely a new approach to goal setting. So let’s begin. Ask yourself:
How do I want to feel every day?
Why is that important? Because everything you do, every goal you set, is to help you feel a certain way. Obviously, we all want to feel good. But my way of feeling good is different than yours. For me, feeling good might mean connecting to nature and my spiritual practices. For you, feeling good might mean the thrill of adventure. Or maybe, feeling good for you is all about family and intimacy.
The clearer you are about how you want to feel, the clearer your goals will be. AND, you’ll have a clearer pathway to achieving them.
So, let’s not wait. Pull out a piece of paper or your journal and ask yourself some questions:
How do I want to feel every day?
(Energetic? Generous? Grateful? Sensual? Passionate? Creative? Joyful? Empowered? Sophisticated? Inspired? etc) Ask yourself this question at least 10 times and rattle off whatever comes up.
And don’t worry if you can only come up with a few feelings. Write out what pops into your head even if you keep repeating the same feelings. And don’t get hung up on the words…I have ‘creative expression’ as my top emotion and although that encompasses many feelings, that phrase vibes for me so that’s what I’m going with.
After all is said and done, how do you REALLY want to feel every day?
Now, on a different piece of paper jot down all your favorite memories from the last few years. Feel free to include amazing memories that go further back in time, maybe even your childhood.
Now look at all those times and ask yourself, how did those experiences FEEL? Did you feel a sense of belonging, or excitement or adventure or love? Don’t over think it. Just write out all the feelings that come up when you remember those highlights from the past.
Then, circle the ones you repeated the most…those top three to five feelings are why you do what you do. By getting this specific, you have just gained the clarity you need to set goals that you’ll actually want to accomplish.
Now is a perfect time to take a few deep breaths before asking yourself:
What would I like to accomplish so that I can feel the way I want to feel? What goals, if I really went for it, would help me generate these feelings on a daily basis?
Is this the year you write the screenplay, start a family, take your dream vacation? What, if you really set your mind to it, would help you feel the way you want to feel not only at the end of the journey…but throughout?
Those are your new goals.
And one last thing…only set 2 goals maximum. Because if this is the year you write the screenplay, you won’t have time for much else. Setting one or two juicy life affirming goals is plenty.
And if you want help with this, get in touch and we’ll figure it out together.
And as always, retweet, repost, and forward to your friends.