courage

  • Learning to be Comfortable with feeling Uncomfortable

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    “Never Underestimate the Inclination to Bolt” – Geneen Roth  

    To create any lasting change, you must be willing to push beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone.  If you remain in your comfort zone, nothing changes.  Its the edge of your comfort zone is where the magic happens.

    But, that is also where you will have to tolerate a good amount of discomfort.

    Let’s say you are trying to end your addiction to sugar.  Aside from the physical addiction (and, I think sugar is our biggest addiction in this country) there is an emotional reason you are turning to sugar.  The first step is to notice what’s going on…notice your feelings you when you are fixated on eating something sweet.  What thoughts are running through your head.  What does your body feel like when you want to inhale the cookie jar?  Can you name what you’re feeling?

    And here’s the truth about feeling your way towards what’s really going on…you don’t actually have to name it!

    A lot of people get tripped up with that.  We’ve been told to name the sensations that we are feeling in our bodies.  But, from my experience, you really don’t need to name it.  Now, if you know for certain that you are feeling shame, or loneliness, or boredom, great…name it.

    But if you’re like me (and many of the people I’ve worked with) you can’t quite put a name to it.  So, rather than getting stuck trying to figure it out, forget about that and just feel whatever your body is feeling.  Lean into it.

    Now remember, when you are feeling uncomfortable your instincts are to run away…to bolt, as Geneen says.  

    But, the opposite is where the change begins…you must turn towards that part of you that is uncomfortable and open yourself up to experience those feelings…feel what’s going on, fully.  

    And then, move your body to express what you’re feeling.  Literally get up and move and physicalize what you’re feeling.

    After you have felt and expressed what’s really going on, choose a different action.

    Insight without action is useless.  

    Let’s go back to the sugar example. 

    You’re faced with a craving and rather than scarfing down a chocolate bar, you stop and feel what’s going on.  You move through it, lean into it, and allow for yourself to feel what’s really going on.  

    Then?  What is a different action you could take?  How about throwing that chocolate bar away?  Maybe go for a walk or put on your favorite music and dance for a while.  You could call a supportive friend or journal for a few minutes about what’s going on.  

    Another great way to interrupt cravings is, once you’ve leaned in, yell out loud “Stop!  That is not loving to me!”  Shouting, in and of itself, will change your state.  And hearing your own voice shouting those words is a powerful tool to changing your behavior.  

    Whatever you do, take a different action.  And, there is no ‘one way’ for everybody so you’ll have to experiment to see what helps you the most.

    So again, when the desire to ‘bolt’ kicks in, stop what you are doing, and lean in.  What’s going on?  Where do you feel it in your body?  Can you move your body in a way to express those feelings?  And then, what different behavior can you try?

    This can be really tough for a lot of us.  If this is something you need support with, don’t hesitate to get in touch with me.  We can figure it out together.

    And as always, repost, retweet, and send to a friend.

  • Overcoming Fear of Failure and Uncertainty – knowing your Fundamentals

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    “If the path before us is clear, we’re probably on someone else’s” – Joseph Campell

    Your life did not come with an instructional manual. Which is great because you get to decide how you want to live your life and what you want to accomplish. But, that also means that the minute you decide to take action towards any of your goals, you have to get jump into the world of uncertainty.

    Not knowing the outcome of our actions can bring up a good amount of anxiety. But in order to create anything meaningful, you HAVE to be willing to take risks.

    Successful people are not immune to being afraid. Fear of failure is a normal fear that everyone feels. But successful people don’t allow their fear to be an excuse for not doing their work. They feel the resistance, and keeping going anyway.

    So how do we learn to manage our fear of uncertainty and failure?

    …By sticking to our fundamentals.

    “The minute you walk away from fundamentals – whether it’s proper technique, work ethic, or mental preparation, – the bottom can fall out of your game, your schoolwork, your job, whatever you’re doing” – Michael Jordon

    Your fundamentals, be it your morning workout, meditation practices, list making, getting to bed at a certain time…whatever constants you have in your life will help you feel the confidence and willingness to charter unknown territory.

    The problem is, most of us take those behaviors for granted because now they’ve become consistent. What we have to do is notice and name what those consistent behaviors are, and then change our approach to them when in the midst of fear and uncertainty.

    For example. When my father got sick a few years ago, I had just started teaching Pilates at a Physical Therapist’s office. But I wanted to be there for my dad (who lived in Vancouver). That required me to work as much as I could at the office for 3 days, fly to Vancouver midweek, return on Sunday and start the whole thing again the following week.

    How could I maintain my sanity with this ridiculous schedule and incredible pressure? By sticking to my fundamentals. For me? That meant a cardio workout every morning (even if just for 15 minutes). And, I ended every day adding a few more stitches to my knitting project. And my knitting was the first thing I packed! For me, it was a crucial stress reducer. The rest of my life could be in total chaos provided I did those two things every day.

    What are your fundamentals? What do you do that brings you a sense of stability? Morning workouts? Journaling? Meditating? Working in your garden? Green drinks? To-do lists? Specific classes? Hobbies? Podcasts?

    Write them out.

    Now decide which actions are the most important for you to take on a daily basis when your fear is up and running. Then, when you actually do these things, be present for your experience of them. Don’t just put on your running shoes and go for a run. Remind yourself that you are in fact practicing something that will help you stomach the uncertainty of your day. You’re daily run is not just for your heart…it’s for your spirit too. By being consistent with your fundamentals, you are creating a safe place to land in the midst of chaos.

    Remember, living with passion means taking risks. And taking risks requires us to live with fear of uncertainty and failure. The fear my never completely go away. But with your fundamentals in place, you can look it in the eye and move forward anyway. Because although our paths are not always clear to us, they are still ours to experience.

    You were meant to do something special in this world that only YOU can do. Discovering it and sharing it is your path.

    If you need help with this, get in touch. We can figure this out together.

    And as always, retweet, repost, and forward this to your friends.

     

     

     

     

  • DOING the work…not just Reading about it

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    Here we are! It’s the new year and most of us have set a goal or two that we are excited about tackling.

    And, I’ve already had the pleasure of working with many people as a part of their support team.

    But there is one common theme that I’m hearing and I want to squash this form of self sabotage right now… The phrase I’ve heard over and over again? “Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to do that…”

    Any exercises, suggestions, advice, including my own, is completely useless unless you actual DO it. You must DO THE WORK to see the results.

    Think about it like this…let’s say you want to take up hiking. You buy the gear, research hikes in your area, get directions on how to get there…but don’t go. Well, you’re not a hiker then, are you?

    If you want to be an actor, you have to act. If you want to be a painter, you have to paint. If you want to run a marathon, you have to run. Just reading about it, ain’t gonna get you nowhere.

    And if you want to break free from limiting patterns and break bad habits, you have to actually DO THE EXERCISES you learn about rather than just read them and say you’ll get to it later. Putting them in your ‘flagged’ email folder doesn’t help either. Most of us are guilty of doing this. We make a note of doing something we read and then say “I’ll do this later.”

    Nope. You won’t. None of us will. Unless you do it NOW or SCHEDULE when you will do it.

    And, for the record, if I say an exercise is quick and easy, it really is! I’m not lying to you. Stop what you’re doing and do the exercise right now, instead of not doing it at all. And, if I say you need to take some time to sit and write about something, that’s true too. Sometimes it is best to wait and find the time you need to really go deep. But if that’s the case, you have to SCHEDULE that time. Because be it a big assignment or a little one, both are useless unless you actually do them.

    So, how about we change that limiting behavior right now? What is one assignment you can do right now? (all of my newsletters are available at brigittadau.com) What step can you take right now that will bring you closer to achieving your goals? What task can you complete so you can mark it off the to-do list, right now?

    Start doing this every day. Pick ONE thing that you can DO to further you along your path.

    The good news is, when you practice following through on a daily basis, it becomes a habit and your resistance and excuses are replaced with action and achievements.

    So… pick one thing and go DO it now.

    And, if you don’t know what steps to take to achieve your goals, get in touch and together we’ll put together a concise plan of action so you can get started today. Maybe getting in touch with me is the step you’ve been ‘thinking’ about instead of actually ‘doing’?

    Now is the perfect time to start.

    As always, retweet, repost, and forward to your friends.

    And Happy New Year to all of you!!!

     

  • Give yourself the Gift of Support in 2018

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    Okay, the New Year is almost here.

    This is the perfect time to have a little face to face reality check with yourself, and…set up next year to be the best one yet.

    What worked for you this year? When were you awesome? What did you manage to pull off despite the odds? Kudos to you…you rock!

    And now, look back and ask yourself, what didn’t happen this year? Where did I stumble and fail to get back up?

    Most likely, none of us accomplished all we had hoped to achieve. We all fell short of something this past year. I’m yet to meet a perfect person. (except for my cat)

    But the fact is, you are more likely to overcome those set backs by asking for help from the right people.

    No addict ever got sober alone. No book was ever published without being edited by at least one other person. No house was built single handedly. No community was created in a bubble.

    We ALL need support.

    So looking back at this past year, where could you have asked for help but didn’t? We’re all guilty of this! Don’t beat yourself up about it…just be honest.

    Where could you have used some extra support?

    Go get it. Now. Be generous with yourself and get the support you need.

    Book the therapy appointment. Buy a series of workouts with a trainer. Book your first session of the year with your health coach, writing coach, life coach, spiritual coach. Sign up now for that meditation class or painting class or college class.

    Not having the money is no excuse. Sign yourself up NOW. The minute you step up by signing up, the funds show up. I’ve seen this more times than I can tell you. When you take a stand for yourself, the universe supports you…always.

    And, by committing right away, you will feel both relaxed and excited about next year. Why? Because you will hit the ground running with your support system already in place. Any resistance you have to getting help will already be muted. And, the likelihood of next year being the year you kick ass is far more likely now that you already have the support of others.

    Give this gift of support to yourself…Now.

    You deserve it!

    And, that includes reserving time with me! Get in touch and let’s get a date on the books for 2018…let’s make 2018 the year we make it happen!

    Here’s to a wonderful New Year.

    As always, retweet, repost and share with everyone

  • Mindfull Help for the Holidays

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    Here we are…knee deep into the holidays. How are you doing? Raise your hand if you’ve already eaten what feels like your entire body weight in holiday treats. Raise your hand if you’ve already lost your shit with your relatives.

    Oh, the joy of the season.

    Okay, first of all, join the club. In my opinion, there is WAY too much emphasis on this time of year, and WAY too much pressure for all of us to do things perfectly.

    The truth is, it’s NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. So let’s accept that. And instead of killing ourselves to get it right, let’s find a way to actually enjoy the end of the year without shame, anger, exhaustion, and an extra 5 pounds to lose.

    If you’re in the self help world (and if you’re reading this, you are) likely, when the word ‘mindfulness’ is muttered, you glaze over as if you were reading a computer manual. It’s a phrase that has been overused and under-explained and truthfully underutilized.

    In a previous newsletter, I created a few new names for this practice…’mind awareness’ and ‘presence practice’. Both of those labels, in my opinion, more accurately describe the practice. And also, I’m not using the word ‘practice’ by accident…we ‘practice’ this every day.

    Let’s not waste time, let’s get right to practicing immediately!

    Feel your feet. How do they feel? Are you in shoes? Socks? Barefoot? Are they cold? Hot? If you had to describe how they felt what would you say…in detail…?

    Okay, you just got present. You practiced ‘mindfulness’. Well done.

    But what’s the point? Why do this? How can this possibly help me when my holiday to-do list is longer than my arm and all I want to do is eat holiday cookies?

    Here is the thing about our bodies and the presence practice. Our bodies are living in the here and now. Second by second, breath by breath. Our bodies couldn’t care less about what you did yesterday or, what you have to get done by the end of the week. Our bodies know nothing about shame, regret, or worry. They are simply here, right now.

    So, when you are panicked about what to wear to the holiday party or worried about getting the table set in time for the guests, zone in on a part of your body and feel it fully. (And, FYI, this takes about 30 seconds so ‘I don’t have time’ is not an excuse.)

    “But I thought you had to sit and meditate” is likely what your voice of resistance is saying in your head.

    Wrong. Well, not entirely. I mean, yes, it’s lovely to sit and notice your thoughts and breath in and out in stillness (and you can check out my fave tracks from my home page on my website). I highly recommend doing that as many days as possible. But meditation without action is only getting 1/2 the benefit of meditating. Think about it. How many times have you finished your meditation practice, got on with your day, and were in a fight with your co-worker by noon? (Confession…I have left yoga classes feeling amazing and within minutes caught myself flipping someone off on the drive home.)

    ‘Mind awareness/Presence practice’ is your meditation in action. Stopping for 30 seconds to FEEL something in your BODY brings you to the present moment. It interrupts your knee jerk reactions and negative assumptions. It brings you back to the present moment thus releasing you from future worry and past guilt. And, if find you are eating unconsciously, this practice helps you catch yourself before you overeat.

    Once you get into the habit of doing this throughout the day (I recommend putting reminders on your phone to chime every hour), see if you can do it while you are busy at work, etc. You CAN keep a part of your mind on how your feet are feeling while talking to your mother. (Yes, it even works with mothers!) You can notice how your breath feels as you inhale and exhale while shopping at Ralph’s. You can notice how the sun feels on your skin, while sitting in traffic.

    By just staying present with your body, your stress level is instantly reduced. And less stress means better thoughts. And most likely, more control over your reactions to other people.

    So, while you read the last bit of this newsletter, notice your feet, or some part of your body. Just keep part of your mind tuned into that physical sensation while you read on.

    Notice you’re not making your shopping list in your head. You are present and able to absorb what you are reading. And, you are more likely to remember everything you need to buy when you go shopping later.

    Practice this incessantly over the holidays! In fact, if you do NOTHING else, do the ‘presence practice’ all day long.

     

    HAVE AN AMAZING HOLIDAY SEASON!

    And repost, retweet and forward to your friends.

     

     

     

     

  • Clearing the slate for 2018

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    Clearing the Slate for 2018

    We are almost at the end of another year. This can actually be a stressful and confronting time for many of us. Around this time of year is when we realize we did not accomplish all the things we had hoped to. This realization causes many of us to throw in the towel and just coast until New Year’s resolution time.

    But, there can be great power in clearing the slate before the New Year.

    I’m not saying to go crazy attempting to turn around all of this year’s let downs. Let’s be realistic…you likely won’t be able to achieve everything if you’re only starting now.

    And, to truly clear the slate…you will probably have to let some things go…possibly eliminating some goals completely.

    This is the time to write up your ultimate “to-do” list…write out your goals, your desires, your responsibilities…put it all on one long page. (Include the mundane things you would like to have behind you such as donating old clothes, updating your calendar, getting the oil changed for your car.)

    Write everything down. This could take some time. I recommend taking this list with you everywhere for a few days. Often things pop into our heads when we are in the car or in the bathroom…jot things down as they come to you and do not discriminate. Big or small, put them all on paper. (or create a list on your iphone and tell Siri to add things as they pop into your head)

    When you think your list is finally complete, set aside a few uninterrupted hours to actually look at your list.

    Circle the doable items that will give you a great sense of relief knowing they are finally DONE. By actually completing these things, you will be entering the New Year “mentally” clutter free as well as opening up the time to start new things.

    Then, cross off or politely bow out of the things you agreed to do that simply won’t get done or will hold you back from the more important tasks on your list.

    Then, look at the “big goals”…that you did not accomplish.

    Why didn’t you accomplish them? Is it possible that they no longer serve you? Sometimes letting something go is more empowering than hanging onto it for dear life. Goals and dreams actually do have expiration dates. Put on your truth lenses and ask yourself if this is still worthy of your time and effort. Ask yourself why you set this goal in the first place and more importantly, do you still feel the same way about it now? This step of letting go may feel a little painful or sad, but there is great power in being honest with yourself. Honoring where you are NOW will ultimately help you to make better decisions as to where you want to go in the future.

    How do you know if it’s time to let it go?

    Is it taking too long? Is the pain outweighing the joy? Are you getting nowhere? Are you hanging onto it because you are afraid of what other people will say if you decide to “give up” on it? Is there something else nagging away at you? Could you actually try something different or new and still fulfill the desire that the original goal was meant to achieve?

    Sit with this awhile. These are not easy questions to ask…even harder to answer with honesty and self compassion. But they are worth asking and answering.

    You may decide to let it go. You may shed a tear or two. But then, you can allow yourself to open up to other possibilities you were too preoccupied to see.

    Or, you may decide absolutely, NO! I’m not letting it go. And in that realization you will discover more clarity as to WHY you must keep this on your list of goals and desires.

    The point is to be honest with yourself. And compassionate.

    After you’ve decided what you will finish this year and what’s worthy of being brought into the New Year, set an aggressive massive action plan to get all that you can…DONE. Open up your day planner or calendar and schedule every task on that list.

    The idea is to start 2018 with a CLEAN SLATE. Not a slate with stale leftovers from last year. Ideally the only goals being invited into the New Year are your passion projects that you have revisited and have even more clarity on. All the other stuff should be completed or at the very least, completed as much a possible before the New Year begins.

    Take agressive action NOW. Not only will you feel a ton of relief to have these things done, but you will also set up your momentum for the New Year when you set you goals for 2018. If you kick it into full throttle and get things done (even if some days it’s simply dropping off donations and gathering earthquake supplies), you will begin creating the habit of GETTING THINGS DONE. Then, when you get clear about your desires and set your goals for 2018, you will be more specific and make clearer distinctions as to what you REALLY want to see happen next year.

    So…write it ALL out. Decide what shall be done, what shall be let go of for good, and what shall be reinforced and invited into the New Year.

    Then, go getter’ done!

    I’d love to see your lists! Send them my way and keep me posted on how you’re doing. And if you want some extra “kick butt mojo”, get in touch and we’ll tackle it together.

     

     

     

  • Are you truly ready for your dreams to come true?

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    ‘If there is something you really want, you are going to have to work really hard, take advantage of opportunity, make some mistakes, be patient, and above all never give up.’ – Jane Goodall

    And I would add to that, are you prepared for the life you say you want?

    If your dreams actually came true…would you be ready for what your life would look like?

    Who doesn’t want to win power ball? Think of what those millions could get you. But, what do you know about managing millions of dollars?

    A lot of people wish they were famous. But, I suspect when the reality of fame came along, they wouldn’t be prepared for the life fame brings.

    Success comes to those who are prepared. Which often means a lot of hard work with little pay off…for quite some time.

    I’m not talking about the “struggle” mentality meaning, where ‘everything is a struggle’. No, nobody wants that!

    But ask any successful entrepreneur or artist if was easy getting to where they are today? I guarantee they will tell you it took a LOT of work. I mean a LOT of work. But they will also say it was worth it, now that they are living their dream.

    Let me share a personal story about working hard and succeeding in the end.

    I’m originally from Canada and when I was in my 20’s I wanted further my acting career by moving to the US. But I had no working papers so even if I booked a job, I couldn’t do it.

    So, on one of my trips to LA I met with an attorney who told me exactly what I would need to do to get a green card. I did what she told me and eventually, yes, I got my green card! Unbeknownst to me though, I was actually following Jane Goodall’s advice from the above quote.

    Hard work? I asked every PR person from every show I’d done, for a copy of all the press they had on their shows. That included international press from Europe, etc. (this was before the internet so that meant snail mail) It took about six months of constant work to collect all the press I needed.

    Whenever my friend (the Producer from a show I was on at the time in Canada) met with anyone in LA, I asked him if I could also meet with them and convince them I was worthy of a letter of recommendation. I almost always walked away with a “yes”. So, I was looking for opportunities to beef up my case for my attorney.

    Mistakes? Sure, I made mistakes. I ran out of money for a while (had to work as a janitor in a children’s acting school) because I didn’t calculate the exchange rate from Canadian to American money. I also didn’t ask about other fees I would need to pay for down the road as the approval precess began. But, this mistake helped too because then when I DID move to LA, I could more easily calculate my real costs of living in the states. I was preparing for the life I was intending to live.

    Patience? Well, I was dealing with the government…which moves at the pace of molasses so yes, I had to wait a long time for my hearing.

    And…I didn’t give up.

    In hindsight I’m amazed at how determined and absolutely ballsy I was! And I can cite many more times I’ve approached my goals with this same mindset…starting my own business, co-producing a movie, getting my Pilates certification, setting up my own etsy shop…etc, etc.

    Anything worthwhile that I have accomplished has been through this same formula.

    So in terms of achieving our desires, we have to ask ourselves if we are willing to put in the work it will require? Are we willing to risk making mistakes while creating opportunities? Are we in it for the long haul?

    If you need help refining your plans, get in touch and together we’ll figure it out. And remember to share, retweet, repost…and don’t give up!

     

     

  • Reflecting to help find Clarity: a different way to define what makes us truly happy.

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    This is a quick and fun way to see if your life is actually in alignment with your true passions and desires. Don’t be surprised by it’s simplicity. It’s a powerful spotlight into your soul’s desires.

    Take out a piece of paper or open a fresh page in your journal.

    Step one.

    Don’t think…just write: your favorite memories from the last year or so. This can include trips, jobs, relationships, tv shows, parties, classes, etc. All the highlights. Without overthinking it, just write down the times you were full of life and happiness.

    Step two.

    Pattern recognition. Do you see a theme or two running through your list? Usually there is a lot of repeated experiences on your fave list. Can you clump them into a group with a heading or title? For example, when I did this exercise, I had 3 distinct patterns which I titled: crafting, meaningful travel, and spiritual practice. So these 3 areas are most important to me to feel truly happy and fulfilled.

    Now go back to what you wrote and see what patterns have emerged. Then give each pattern it’s own title.

    Step three.

    Notice what you did not mention on your list. Noticing what’s missing can also shed light on what we ‘think’ we want rather than what truly brings us joy. For me, as much as I love my clients and my work…it didn’t really come up for me. Now, that doesn’t mean I’m going to quit my job and water color all day long! It just shows me that although work is great, it’s important to create time to cultivate those other aspects that make my soul sing.

    So think for a moment and notice what you thought would be highlights but actually didn’t make the cut? And again, this is so you can view your life in a more accurate way. There are things you enjoy doing, and then there are things that you LOVE to do.

    Now reflect on your life…is it a nice balance between the two? Or is your life kind of lopsided and too focussed on what you ‘think’ you love? Can you include more of the activities from your “true joy” list? For example, meaningful travel won’t be something I can do every month. But, it will help me decide where to go and who I’ll travel with. Therefore, my travel will have more of an impact on me if I remember to make it meaningful rather than allowing it to just be a getaway.

    I’d love to hear your discoveries with this exercise! The key is to not overthink step one, take the time to reflect on step two, and plan a way to do more of what you love in step three.

    And, if you need help figuring out how to incorporate more joy into your life, get in touch and we’ll work on a plan together.

     

     

     

  • What the world needs is people who have come alive!

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    “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive…and then do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive” – Howard Thurman

    This is a common problem for many people…”what am I going to do with my life?”. That’s a big question! Holy big responsibilities, Bat Man!

    Many of us are pressured by our parents to go to school and study (fill in the blank) so we can have a career. Artists and entrepreneurs are almost always encouraged to get a ‘back up’ career…just in case their dreams don’t come true. And some of us look at our friends who seem to be moving along easily in their work life, and we feel like we’ve somehow missed the boat.

    Here’s the thing, our world is not the same world as it was for our parents. There are very few ‘back up careers’ left anymore. And most of us won’t stick with the same career for our entire lifetime anyway. Most of us will have several careers over the span of our lives.

    So let’s drop the notion of figuring out ‘what to do with our lives’.

    Instead, ask yourself what lights you up? When do you feel like you are in the zone? What are you doing when you feel like you are running on all cylinders? What are your favorite things to do?

    From there you can start to investigate what work might interest you.

    For example, let’s say you love horses. Well, you could teach riding lessons, invest in a barn and lease space to horse owners, work at the racetrack. You could sculpt horses or draw paintings of horses and sell your work in a gallery or on etsy…

    I, and many of the people I work with, don’t have just one job. Yes, I teach Pilates and Life Coach but I also teach crafting workshops and have a store on etsy. I’m utilizing as many of my passions as I can to make money and feel fulfilled. So even when I was offered a job to manage a Pilates studio at a gym (a ‘real’, full time job) I turned it down. Managing people sounds like a big drag to me (…even though I’d probably be good at it.) But I know I need to be independent and work for myself. That means risking that I might have less work from time to time. But, it’s worth it…to me.

    There are plenty of opportunities to work at doing what we love but we first have to know what that is!

    So, pay attention to when you are most alive, most enthusiastic, most passionate. What truly turns you on?

    Hint: when you are in the ‘zone’ and time flies by without you noticing, that’s usually a signal that you are doing something you love.

    There are no guarantees in life so don’t ‘settle’ for a career because you think you are supposed to have a 9 to 5 job. Pursue your passions instead. The world needs that special aliveness that is unique to you!

    I work with many people dealing with this issue. If you are having trouble with this, get in touch and together we’ll figure it out.

    Remember to retweet, repost, and forward this to a friend.

  • What is your social media feed saying about you?

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    What are you putting out in the world?

    I’ve said previously that although you may have no control over a situation, you do have 100% control over your response. How you react to whatever is happening is totally in your control.

    And, is your responsibility.

    Everything we do is either contributing to joy or adding to suffering. Everything. And how you show up to your work, your relationships, your art, and even your yoga classes, has an effect on the energy of others. You always have the option to add to the joy in this world…it’s a choice.

    And never has that been more important than now.

    Social media can be absolutely inspiring and thought provoking. I’ve read posts that were so heartfelt I’ve cried real tears for a person I didn’t even know.

    And some of the most hideous and hateful things I’ve ever read have been on social media too.

    Remember, social media never goes away. So my suggestion is to not just manage what you post…curate it as if it was a display of who you are. Because in many ways, what your Facebook page says about you, matters. Your Instagram feed is constantly putting out energy from the pictures you post. And others can see what you pin on Pintrest so even if you think you’re just screwing around on the internet, people are watching you. Remember, employers actually look at the Facebook pages of potential employees before hiring them. (thank God there was no internet when I was a kid!!!)

    I’m not for a second suggesting that everything be cherry blossoms and fairy dust. But sincere comments add more depth to communications than attack tweets. We can be disturbed by the injustices of the world without shutting down the other side with a shaming post. Social media has the power to create positive change if we bring our humanity to it rather then our knee jerk reactions. And although bringing our truth to the world might be scary, our bravery and honesty will have a greater impact on more people.

    So how can you avoid lashing out when you see something disturbing and unacceptable? Stop. Take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself if you can at all relate or at least be compassionate about what this person has said or done. Then choose your language wisely. Avoid adding more fuel to the fire…and that might very well mean saying nothing at this time. If you’re really fired up, sleep on it. We always see things more clearly once we put a little space between us and the problem.

    This is what taking responsibility for ourselves really means: Choosing the energy we are putting out into the world. You have the capacity to add to the sum total of joy in every moment of the day. You also have the power to increase the level of anger and hate in the world. How you REACT is YOUR responsibility. So, think before you tweet. Take a deep breath and reread what you are about to post. Are you being true to who you are or shaming someone for their opinion? What exactly are you contributing if you press “post”?

    You always have a choice…especially on social media.