We are all guilty of this to some degree…giving our power away without even realizing we’re doing it. If it’s a minor issue, we can usually catch it and course correct pretty quickly.
But, if we are consistently disempowering ourselves (on a daily basis, for example), we need to take a closer look and see if there are some underlying stories going unquestioned.
You will notice you have given your power away when you feel anxiety and the need to control every aspect of the situation. The second you feel this energy shift, stop what you’re doing and take note of what you’re thinking.
Some examples of how we disempower ourselves daily:
Having issues with your self image can make you feel you must control and dominate your body in some way. Just looking in the mirror could disempower you instantly with an unconscious story… maybe the belief running in your head is about looking a certain way to please others, be accepted, etc.
Your bank balance might cause you to obsess about money, shopping, or your debt. Maybe that story is about your self worth equalling your net worth, or maybe your story is saying you need more money to even begin to own a high level of self worth.
Or maybe you have a story about your boss or your partner and how they would react if you behaved a different way, stood up for yourself, or stopped bending over backwards to please them.
Whatever your story is, it’s worth examining to see if you are sapping your energy in the desire to live up to unconscious expectations…that you have placed upon yourself.
Another clue of when we are disempowering ourselves is when we use the phrase, “I can’t because…” I’ve written about this in the past, as an excuse we all make sometimes.
But, this phrase can have a deeper, more insidious meaning to it…because by blindly accepting that you ‘can’t’ have or do something throws you smack in the middle of victimhood.
Now maybe it’s true that you are in serious debt, for example. I’m not suggesting we cover our ears and say ‘la, la, la I can’t hear you…’. You know I always favor being honest with ourselves rather than going into denial.
But…being in debt doesn’t mean you have to drive yourself crazy obsessing about it and denying yourself the joys you could experience right now…for free! Taking a walk in nature is free and absolutely stress relieving!
Maybe your skin is breaking out or your hair is thinning. Rather than buying into the story that you have to look a certain way to be happy, see if there is something you can do lovingly, (right now!) maybe in the way of self care, to counter your disempowering feelings.
Your stories are simply…beliefs you have about the way things ‘should’ be. Rarely are they based on fact. And if your stories leave you feeling anxious, depleted of energy, or cause you to shut down, then you are allowing that belief to disempower you. Thus, leaving you the victim of your own thoughts.
If it’s appropriate, write out what you’re saying to yourself when these feelings arise. If the time isn’t right to stop and write out your thoughts, (maybe you are at work, etc.) then schedule a time to come back and revisit this situation. See if you can gain some insight into how your mind is contributing to your lack of power.
One more thing about standing in our power. When we are empowered, we naturally look to empower other people. Personal empowerment is inclusive, creative, supportive, and highly effective and energizing. And we are at a time in history when we need all hands on deck…and owning our power, is how we create the world we want to live in.
Life is hard enough without us putting the extra pressure of false stories on ourselves. Examine your beliefs and get your power back.
This is an ongoing challenge for many of us. Please, don’t hesitate to get in touch if you are struggling with this. Together we can get you on the path to true empowerment.