Goals

  • Rejection as a Tool for Action

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    Nobody likes being rejected.  Yet every single one of us will face it at some point.  And the more risks you take, your odds of being rejected will go up too.  The bigger the risk, the bigger the possible set backs…but also, the bigger the win.

    So how do we ‘manage’ rejection so it doesn’t stop us in our tracks?

    We can start by being honest about it and then using the rejection as a push forward.

    The ‘honest’ part of it is two-fold.  Not everything is for everyone.  And nobody is loved by 100% of the people.  Everyone has their specific likes and dislikes.  So you will always have those people who just won’t accept you, your projects, your humor, whatever, regardless of what you do.

    Next, ask yourself if you have anything to learn from the rejection.  Sometimes there is a nugget of good feedback in being rejected.  This is not an opportunity to beat yourself up!  This is a chance to step back, put your ego aside, and see if you could have done things differently and if that would be an improvement.

    Then, ask yourself, “What’s next?”.  By asking yourself this question, you are redirecting your brain to look for new things to do rather than staying stuck licking your wounds. 

    Get in the habit of asking yourself that question every day.  The first thing that will happen is you’ll notice you’re getting more done!  But more importantly, you’ll already be in the habit of pivoting away from what stops you and towards what you can actually do about it.  Cuddling up to ‘feeling sorry for yourself’ cannot exist if you are in creation mode.

    So, when you get hit with rejection, remember…nobody wins 100% of the time.  Ask, “Is there anything I can learn from this?”.  And finally ask yourself, “What’s next?”.  And then go do it!

    If you’re working on something you want support with, please do not hesitate to get in touch.

    And remember, retweet, repost, and forward this to a friend.

  • Why our Goals Suck

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    Why our goal setting sucks, and why we will never achieve our sucky goals.

    The most common times for goal setting is New Year’s and Birthdays.  Then, a few weeks go by and we notice we are not only off track, but we have already forgotten the goals we set.  

    That’s because most of us set our goals ass backwards.  We think of our goals as accomplishments rather than journeys.  And because we don’t ask ourselves why we want what we want, we easily give up at the first sign of challenge.

    There is a golden rule of the universe, in my opinion…

    That which you desire has been deliberately put out of your reach so you can become the person who is worthy of receiving it.

    That requires a whole different outlook and entirely a new approach to goal setting.  So let’s begin.  Ask yourself:

    How do I want to feel every day?

    Why is that important?  Because everything you do, every goal you set, is to help you feel a certain way.  Obviously, we all want to feel good.  But my way of feeling good is different than yours.  For me, feeling good might mean connecting to nature and my spiritual practices.  For you, feeling good might mean the thrill of adventure.  Or maybe, feeling good for you is all about family and intimacy.

    The clearer you are about how you want to feel, the clearer your goals will be. AND, you’ll have a clearer pathway to achieving them.

    So, let’s not wait.  Pull out a piece of paper or your journal and ask yourself some questions:

    How do I want to feel every day?  

    (Energetic?  Generous?  Grateful?   Sensual?  Passionate?  Creative?  Joyful?  Empowered?  Sophisticated?  Inspired? etc)  Ask yourself this question at least 10 times and rattle off whatever comes up.

    And don’t worry if you can only come up with a few feelings. Write out what pops into your head even if you keep repeating the same feelings.  And don’t get hung up on the words…I have ‘creative expression’ as my top emotion and although that encompasses many feelings, that phrase vibes for me so that’s what I’m going with.

    After all is said and done, how do you REALLY want to feel every day?

    Now, on a different piece of paper jot down all your favorite memories from the last few years.  Feel free to include amazing memories that go further back in time, maybe even your childhood.

    Now look at all those times and ask yourself, how did those experiences FEEL?  Did you feel a sense of belonging, or excitement or adventure or love?  Don’t over think it.  Just write out all the feelings that come up when you remember those highlights from the past.  

    Then, circle the ones you repeated the most…those top three to five feelings are why you do what you do.  By getting this specific,  you have just gained the clarity you need to set goals that you’ll actually want to accomplish.

    Now is a perfect time to take a few deep breaths before asking yourself:

    What would I like to accomplish so that I can feel the way I want to feel?  What goals, if I really went for it, would help me generate these feelings on a daily basis?  

    Is this the year you write the screenplay, start a family, take your dream vacation?  What, if you really set your mind to it, would help you feel the way you want to feel not only at the end of the journey…but throughout?

    Those are your new goals.

    And one last thing…only set 2 goals maximum.  Because if this is the year you write the screenplay, you won’t have time for much else.  Setting one or two juicy life affirming goals is plenty.

    And if you want help with this, get in touch and we’ll figure it out together.

    And as always, retweet, repost, and forward to your friends.

  • Gratitude

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    BEING Grateful vs just thinking about it   

    By now you know the importance of gratitude.  It not only helps improve your disposition, it also lowers blood pressure and helps you manage stress more effectively.  And it seems like these times are more stressful than ever so why not alleviate some of that stress…for free?!?

    But here’s the mistakes most people make with practicing gratitude.  Most people give lip service to their gratitude list and never actually tune in to and feel what they’re grateful for.  And, they list the same 5 or 10 things every day creating a memorized list rather then a fresh, cultivated, and deeply personal daily list.

    Many of us have kept gratitude journals, or lists of things to be grateful for, etc.  But simply rattling off what your grateful for doesn’t actually help very much.  You have to really tune into what you’re grateful for.  In other words, being grateful for the sun but not stopping to see how feels on your skin is ineffective.  For gratitude to start to work in your life, you need to stop and TAKE IT IN.  You have to BE/FEEL grateful…not just record it.

    And, choosing to be grateful for new things everyday is the way to really utilize gratitude to improve your moods.  If you simply repeat the same few things every day, your brain just gets into a rut and you fail to see other things you could be grateful for.  If however, you force yourself to come up with new things everyday, your brain will naturally look for other ways to feel grateful.  Your focus will change to see the positive more often than the negative.  And, when dealing with stressful situations, you’ll be able to de-stress more quickly. 

    And you can be grateful for little things.  Being grateful for seeing beautiful flowers, or feeling grateful that your car got you from point A to B can as helpful as anything else.  The important thing is to really feel into it.

    So, yes, keep a gratitude journal or write your lists out daily.  But, find NEW things to be grateful for and really tune into how it feels to have that deep level of gratitude.  

     

  • Clearing the Slate for 2019

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    A Clean Slate

    This is a follow up to my previous newsletter… ‘Creating Space’. 

    This idea of cleaning our slate is one that I usually suggest doing later in the year.  But I have found that starting this process in October is more effective for both myself and my clients.  

    The idea is to go into the New Year owning everything on your to-do list.  As well as owning your bigger goals that you may or may not include for the new year.

    When I say “owning” your to-do lists and goals, I mean…taking full responsibility for what you are putting your energy behind.

    If you thought of energy as currency…hard earned cash…what would you invest it in?  Because you get to decide how, where, and what you will invest your energy in.

    So this process begins with writing down (not in your head) everything you have to do.  Your ‘ultimate to-do list’, so to speak.  This includes bills, work assignments, agreements with others, your personal goals, appointments, holiday gifts…everything.  I like to give myself at least 3 days to make up this list.  Little things pop into my head when I’m driving or in the shower so I keep adding to my list as these things come up.  So, for the next few days, jot things down as they come to you and do not discriminate.  Big or small, put them all on paper.

    When you think your list is finally complete, set aside a few uninterrupted hours to actually study at your list.

    Circle the doable items that will give you a great sense of relief knowing that they are finally DONE.  In other words, by actually completing these things, you will be entering the New Year “mentally” clutter free as well as opening up the time to start new things.  

    Then, cross off or politely bow out of the things you agreed to do for other people that no longer serve you..  These are things that simply won’t get done or will hold you back from the more important tasks on your list.  Again, politely bow out of what you had initially agreed to doing ideally in the next 24 hours.

    Then, look at the “big goals” that you did not accomplish.  

    Because, to truly clear the slate, you may choose to eliminate some goals all together.

    So look at the goals that are currently not happening.

    Why didn’t you accomplish them?  Is it possible that they no longer serve you?  Sometimes letting something go is more empowering than hanging onto it for dear life.  Goals and dreams actually do have expiration dates.  Put on your truth lenses and ask yourself if this is still worthy of your time and effort.  Ask yourself why you set this goal in the first place and more importantly, do you still feel the same way about it now?  This step of letting go may feel painful or sad, but there is great power in being honest with yourself.  Honoring where you are NOW will ultimately help you to make better decisions as to where you want to go in the future.               

    How do you know if it’s time to let it go?  

    Is it taking too long?  Is the pain outweighing the joy?  Are you getting nowhere?   Are you hanging onto it because you are afraid of what other people will say if you decide to “give up” on it?  Is there something else nagging away at you?  Could you actually try something different or new and still fulfill the desire that the original goal was meant to achieve?

    Sit with this awhile.  These are not easy questions to ask…even harder to answer with honesty and self compassion.  But they are worth asking and answering.  

    You may decide to let it go.  You may shed a tear or two. But then, you can allow yourself to open up to other possibilities you were too preoccupied to see.

    Or, you may decide, “Absolutely NO!  I’m not letting it go.”  And in that realization you will discover more clarity as to WHY you must keep this on your list of goals and desires.

    The point is to be honest with yourself.  And compassionate.

    Now…what can you do before the end of this year to both clear your to-do list and move your goals forward?

    Write out a new list of what will be done THIS year.  Schedule when and where in your calendar and start taking action today.  I suggest setting an aggressive course of action now which will allow you to have more time to enjoy the holidays when they arrive.

    The idea is to start 2019 with a CLEAN SLATE.  Not a slate with stale leftovers from last year.  Ideally the only goals being invited into the New Year are your passion projects that you have revisited and have even more clarity on.  All the other stuff should be completed or at the very least, completed as much a possible before the New Year begins.

    So…write it ALL out.  Decide what shall be done, what shall be let go of for good, and what shall be reinforced and invited into the New Year.

    And, stay tuned.  I have a “Getting Our Shit Done” challenge coming up in the next few weeks.  I suggest you get a jump on it and start clearing your slate now!

    Go getter’ done!

    And if you want some extra “kick butt mojo”, get in touch and we’ll tackle it together.

     

  • The Games we Play

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    Today’s newsletter is not about the big goals, the big decisions, the big changes we create in our lives.  No, today I’m talking about the stupid shit that we waste our energy on…on a daily basis.

    One could argue that our little pet peeves and minor irritations are not a big deal.

    But, science is proving that stress, ANY stress, is a major cause of disease.  And the little stresses that we put up with every day, add up.  

    A helpful way to examine what you are wasting energy on is to ask the question:

    “What game am I playing that I am no longer willing to play?”

    For example, feeling irked when: 

    The dish is in the sink instead of in the dishwasher.

    The laundry is yet to be removed from the dryer.

    The neighbor’s dog won’t stop barking.

    You get the point.  These are small irritations that can cause stress despite not being a very big deal.  Consciously choosing to no longer put your energy behind these types of things frees up your energy and lowers your stress level immediately.

    You can ask this same question for the bigger ‘games’ you are playing as well.

    The game of being envious of your friend’s success.

    The game of playing victim to your mother’s criticism.

    The game of staying quiet when someone is saying something offensive.

    Framing it as a ‘game’ rather than a big issue can sometimes make it easier to adjust your behavior.  It also opens you up to seeing the issue from a more objective point of view rather than a personal one.  

    Seeing your envy as a ‘game’ allows to to decide if you want to opt out of the game entirely.  Is the game of taking criticism personally worth your energy?  And if you refuse to play the game of staying silent, what new actions can you take that weren’t available to you before?

    Whether it’s the little pet peeves or the bigger issues, lightening up your attitude will undoubtedly allow you to have a more honest look at where you are adding unnecessary stress to your days.

    I’d love to hear from you on this!  What games are you opting out of?  (Me?  I’m quitting the game of shaming people for not stopping at stop signs!  Wish me luck with that!)

    As always, retweet, repost and share with your friends.  

  • DOING the work…not just Reading about it

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    Here we are! It’s the new year and most of us have set a goal or two that we are excited about tackling.

    And, I’ve already had the pleasure of working with many people as a part of their support team.

    But there is one common theme that I’m hearing and I want to squash this form of self sabotage right now… The phrase I’ve heard over and over again? “Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to do that…”

    Any exercises, suggestions, advice, including my own, is completely useless unless you actual DO it. You must DO THE WORK to see the results.

    Think about it like this…let’s say you want to take up hiking. You buy the gear, research hikes in your area, get directions on how to get there…but don’t go. Well, you’re not a hiker then, are you?

    If you want to be an actor, you have to act. If you want to be a painter, you have to paint. If you want to run a marathon, you have to run. Just reading about it, ain’t gonna get you nowhere.

    And if you want to break free from limiting patterns and break bad habits, you have to actually DO THE EXERCISES you learn about rather than just read them and say you’ll get to it later. Putting them in your ‘flagged’ email folder doesn’t help either. Most of us are guilty of doing this. We make a note of doing something we read and then say “I’ll do this later.”

    Nope. You won’t. None of us will. Unless you do it NOW or SCHEDULE when you will do it.

    And, for the record, if I say an exercise is quick and easy, it really is! I’m not lying to you. Stop what you’re doing and do the exercise right now, instead of not doing it at all. And, if I say you need to take some time to sit and write about something, that’s true too. Sometimes it is best to wait and find the time you need to really go deep. But if that’s the case, you have to SCHEDULE that time. Because be it a big assignment or a little one, both are useless unless you actually do them.

    So, how about we change that limiting behavior right now? What is one assignment you can do right now? (all of my newsletters are available at brigittadau.com) What step can you take right now that will bring you closer to achieving your goals? What task can you complete so you can mark it off the to-do list, right now?

    Start doing this every day. Pick ONE thing that you can DO to further you along your path.

    The good news is, when you practice following through on a daily basis, it becomes a habit and your resistance and excuses are replaced with action and achievements.

    So… pick one thing and go DO it now.

    And, if you don’t know what steps to take to achieve your goals, get in touch and together we’ll put together a concise plan of action so you can get started today. Maybe getting in touch with me is the step you’ve been ‘thinking’ about instead of actually ‘doing’?

    Now is the perfect time to start.

    As always, retweet, repost, and forward to your friends.

    And Happy New Year to all of you!!!

     

  • Clearing the slate for 2018

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    Clearing the Slate for 2018

    We are almost at the end of another year. This can actually be a stressful and confronting time for many of us. Around this time of year is when we realize we did not accomplish all the things we had hoped to. This realization causes many of us to throw in the towel and just coast until New Year’s resolution time.

    But, there can be great power in clearing the slate before the New Year.

    I’m not saying to go crazy attempting to turn around all of this year’s let downs. Let’s be realistic…you likely won’t be able to achieve everything if you’re only starting now.

    And, to truly clear the slate…you will probably have to let some things go…possibly eliminating some goals completely.

    This is the time to write up your ultimate “to-do” list…write out your goals, your desires, your responsibilities…put it all on one long page. (Include the mundane things you would like to have behind you such as donating old clothes, updating your calendar, getting the oil changed for your car.)

    Write everything down. This could take some time. I recommend taking this list with you everywhere for a few days. Often things pop into our heads when we are in the car or in the bathroom…jot things down as they come to you and do not discriminate. Big or small, put them all on paper. (or create a list on your iphone and tell Siri to add things as they pop into your head)

    When you think your list is finally complete, set aside a few uninterrupted hours to actually look at your list.

    Circle the doable items that will give you a great sense of relief knowing they are finally DONE. By actually completing these things, you will be entering the New Year “mentally” clutter free as well as opening up the time to start new things.

    Then, cross off or politely bow out of the things you agreed to do that simply won’t get done or will hold you back from the more important tasks on your list.

    Then, look at the “big goals”…that you did not accomplish.

    Why didn’t you accomplish them? Is it possible that they no longer serve you? Sometimes letting something go is more empowering than hanging onto it for dear life. Goals and dreams actually do have expiration dates. Put on your truth lenses and ask yourself if this is still worthy of your time and effort. Ask yourself why you set this goal in the first place and more importantly, do you still feel the same way about it now? This step of letting go may feel a little painful or sad, but there is great power in being honest with yourself. Honoring where you are NOW will ultimately help you to make better decisions as to where you want to go in the future.

    How do you know if it’s time to let it go?

    Is it taking too long? Is the pain outweighing the joy? Are you getting nowhere? Are you hanging onto it because you are afraid of what other people will say if you decide to “give up” on it? Is there something else nagging away at you? Could you actually try something different or new and still fulfill the desire that the original goal was meant to achieve?

    Sit with this awhile. These are not easy questions to ask…even harder to answer with honesty and self compassion. But they are worth asking and answering.

    You may decide to let it go. You may shed a tear or two. But then, you can allow yourself to open up to other possibilities you were too preoccupied to see.

    Or, you may decide absolutely, NO! I’m not letting it go. And in that realization you will discover more clarity as to WHY you must keep this on your list of goals and desires.

    The point is to be honest with yourself. And compassionate.

    After you’ve decided what you will finish this year and what’s worthy of being brought into the New Year, set an aggressive massive action plan to get all that you can…DONE. Open up your day planner or calendar and schedule every task on that list.

    The idea is to start 2018 with a CLEAN SLATE. Not a slate with stale leftovers from last year. Ideally the only goals being invited into the New Year are your passion projects that you have revisited and have even more clarity on. All the other stuff should be completed or at the very least, completed as much a possible before the New Year begins.

    Take agressive action NOW. Not only will you feel a ton of relief to have these things done, but you will also set up your momentum for the New Year when you set you goals for 2018. If you kick it into full throttle and get things done (even if some days it’s simply dropping off donations and gathering earthquake supplies), you will begin creating the habit of GETTING THINGS DONE. Then, when you get clear about your desires and set your goals for 2018, you will be more specific and make clearer distinctions as to what you REALLY want to see happen next year.

    So…write it ALL out. Decide what shall be done, what shall be let go of for good, and what shall be reinforced and invited into the New Year.

    Then, go getter’ done!

    I’d love to see your lists! Send them my way and keep me posted on how you’re doing. And if you want some extra “kick butt mojo”, get in touch and we’ll tackle it together.

     

     

     

  • Are you truly ready for your dreams to come true?

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    ‘If there is something you really want, you are going to have to work really hard, take advantage of opportunity, make some mistakes, be patient, and above all never give up.’ – Jane Goodall

    And I would add to that, are you prepared for the life you say you want?

    If your dreams actually came true…would you be ready for what your life would look like?

    Who doesn’t want to win power ball? Think of what those millions could get you. But, what do you know about managing millions of dollars?

    A lot of people wish they were famous. But, I suspect when the reality of fame came along, they wouldn’t be prepared for the life fame brings.

    Success comes to those who are prepared. Which often means a lot of hard work with little pay off…for quite some time.

    I’m not talking about the “struggle” mentality meaning, where ‘everything is a struggle’. No, nobody wants that!

    But ask any successful entrepreneur or artist if was easy getting to where they are today? I guarantee they will tell you it took a LOT of work. I mean a LOT of work. But they will also say it was worth it, now that they are living their dream.

    Let me share a personal story about working hard and succeeding in the end.

    I’m originally from Canada and when I was in my 20’s I wanted further my acting career by moving to the US. But I had no working papers so even if I booked a job, I couldn’t do it.

    So, on one of my trips to LA I met with an attorney who told me exactly what I would need to do to get a green card. I did what she told me and eventually, yes, I got my green card! Unbeknownst to me though, I was actually following Jane Goodall’s advice from the above quote.

    Hard work? I asked every PR person from every show I’d done, for a copy of all the press they had on their shows. That included international press from Europe, etc. (this was before the internet so that meant snail mail) It took about six months of constant work to collect all the press I needed.

    Whenever my friend (the Producer from a show I was on at the time in Canada) met with anyone in LA, I asked him if I could also meet with them and convince them I was worthy of a letter of recommendation. I almost always walked away with a “yes”. So, I was looking for opportunities to beef up my case for my attorney.

    Mistakes? Sure, I made mistakes. I ran out of money for a while (had to work as a janitor in a children’s acting school) because I didn’t calculate the exchange rate from Canadian to American money. I also didn’t ask about other fees I would need to pay for down the road as the approval precess began. But, this mistake helped too because then when I DID move to LA, I could more easily calculate my real costs of living in the states. I was preparing for the life I was intending to live.

    Patience? Well, I was dealing with the government…which moves at the pace of molasses so yes, I had to wait a long time for my hearing.

    And…I didn’t give up.

    In hindsight I’m amazed at how determined and absolutely ballsy I was! And I can cite many more times I’ve approached my goals with this same mindset…starting my own business, co-producing a movie, getting my Pilates certification, setting up my own etsy shop…etc, etc.

    Anything worthwhile that I have accomplished has been through this same formula.

    So in terms of achieving our desires, we have to ask ourselves if we are willing to put in the work it will require? Are we willing to risk making mistakes while creating opportunities? Are we in it for the long haul?

    If you need help refining your plans, get in touch and together we’ll figure it out. And remember to share, retweet, repost…and don’t give up!

     

     

  • What the world needs is people who have come alive!

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    “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive…and then do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive” – Howard Thurman

    This is a common problem for many people…”what am I going to do with my life?”. That’s a big question! Holy big responsibilities, Bat Man!

    Many of us are pressured by our parents to go to school and study (fill in the blank) so we can have a career. Artists and entrepreneurs are almost always encouraged to get a ‘back up’ career…just in case their dreams don’t come true. And some of us look at our friends who seem to be moving along easily in their work life, and we feel like we’ve somehow missed the boat.

    Here’s the thing, our world is not the same world as it was for our parents. There are very few ‘back up careers’ left anymore. And most of us won’t stick with the same career for our entire lifetime anyway. Most of us will have several careers over the span of our lives.

    So let’s drop the notion of figuring out ‘what to do with our lives’.

    Instead, ask yourself what lights you up? When do you feel like you are in the zone? What are you doing when you feel like you are running on all cylinders? What are your favorite things to do?

    From there you can start to investigate what work might interest you.

    For example, let’s say you love horses. Well, you could teach riding lessons, invest in a barn and lease space to horse owners, work at the racetrack. You could sculpt horses or draw paintings of horses and sell your work in a gallery or on etsy…

    I, and many of the people I work with, don’t have just one job. Yes, I teach Pilates and Life Coach but I also teach crafting workshops and have a store on etsy. I’m utilizing as many of my passions as I can to make money and feel fulfilled. So even when I was offered a job to manage a Pilates studio at a gym (a ‘real’, full time job) I turned it down. Managing people sounds like a big drag to me (…even though I’d probably be good at it.) But I know I need to be independent and work for myself. That means risking that I might have less work from time to time. But, it’s worth it…to me.

    There are plenty of opportunities to work at doing what we love but we first have to know what that is!

    So, pay attention to when you are most alive, most enthusiastic, most passionate. What truly turns you on?

    Hint: when you are in the ‘zone’ and time flies by without you noticing, that’s usually a signal that you are doing something you love.

    There are no guarantees in life so don’t ‘settle’ for a career because you think you are supposed to have a 9 to 5 job. Pursue your passions instead. The world needs that special aliveness that is unique to you!

    I work with many people dealing with this issue. If you are having trouble with this, get in touch and together we’ll figure it out.

    Remember to retweet, repost, and forward this to a friend.

  • What is your social media feed saying about you?

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    What are you putting out in the world?

    I’ve said previously that although you may have no control over a situation, you do have 100% control over your response. How you react to whatever is happening is totally in your control.

    And, is your responsibility.

    Everything we do is either contributing to joy or adding to suffering. Everything. And how you show up to your work, your relationships, your art, and even your yoga classes, has an effect on the energy of others. You always have the option to add to the joy in this world…it’s a choice.

    And never has that been more important than now.

    Social media can be absolutely inspiring and thought provoking. I’ve read posts that were so heartfelt I’ve cried real tears for a person I didn’t even know.

    And some of the most hideous and hateful things I’ve ever read have been on social media too.

    Remember, social media never goes away. So my suggestion is to not just manage what you post…curate it as if it was a display of who you are. Because in many ways, what your Facebook page says about you, matters. Your Instagram feed is constantly putting out energy from the pictures you post. And others can see what you pin on Pintrest so even if you think you’re just screwing around on the internet, people are watching you. Remember, employers actually look at the Facebook pages of potential employees before hiring them. (thank God there was no internet when I was a kid!!!)

    I’m not for a second suggesting that everything be cherry blossoms and fairy dust. But sincere comments add more depth to communications than attack tweets. We can be disturbed by the injustices of the world without shutting down the other side with a shaming post. Social media has the power to create positive change if we bring our humanity to it rather then our knee jerk reactions. And although bringing our truth to the world might be scary, our bravery and honesty will have a greater impact on more people.

    So how can you avoid lashing out when you see something disturbing and unacceptable? Stop. Take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself if you can at all relate or at least be compassionate about what this person has said or done. Then choose your language wisely. Avoid adding more fuel to the fire…and that might very well mean saying nothing at this time. If you’re really fired up, sleep on it. We always see things more clearly once we put a little space between us and the problem.

    This is what taking responsibility for ourselves really means: Choosing the energy we are putting out into the world. You have the capacity to add to the sum total of joy in every moment of the day. You also have the power to increase the level of anger and hate in the world. How you REACT is YOUR responsibility. So, think before you tweet. Take a deep breath and reread what you are about to post. Are you being true to who you are or shaming someone for their opinion? What exactly are you contributing if you press “post”?

    You always have a choice…especially on social media.