Receive your FREE Gift!
Subscribe to my newsletter and as a bonus you will receive a FREE eJournal.

Unspoken Agreements and Reclaiming our Power

Not surprisingly, I received a lot of emails after my last newsletter “Reclaiming our Sovereignty to overcome our Envy”.  (If you missed it you can read all of my newsletters at  A lot of people had questions about how to discern if they had given away their power and how to get it back.

So, I’m going to address those questions today.

The first way to see if you are giving away your power, is to look at the relationships in your life and question the unspoken agreements you are making.  Some silent agreements are just fine and serve a good purpose.  But if you are left feeling icky after noticing them, then there is a good chance you are giving up your power to keep a disempowering agreement.

Here are some examples:

“I stay quiet when you say racist things.”

“I pretend not to notice when you are doing ‘that thing’.”  (replace with whatever behavior that resonates for you)

“Do not upset Mom, Dad, etc”

“I look the other way when our coworker is bullying someone.”

“If you are having a bad day, I put my problems off to the side.  You come first.”

“We don’t talk about our childhoods.”

“I’m responsible for my siblings.”

“I need you to rescue me.”

These are just a few examples of silent agreements that leave people feeling disempowered.  And they almost always stem from not wanting to rock the boat…even if it’s to our own benefit.

As always, I recommend getting these thoughts out of your head by writing them down. Once they’re on the page, you can look at them with more objectivity.

How do you feel about these agreements?  If they are leaving you feeling disempowered then what can you do about it?  Is there a conversation you need to have with someone?  Are there some actions you could be taking that you’ve been avoiding?  Can you change the way YOU behave when this agreement comes up?

If there is something you can do to bring light to this area, then I encourage you to do so.  Have the conversation or change the pattern.  It will feel risky and scary at first, but claiming your power is worth the risk.

Sometimes, however, there is nothing that we can directly do to alter our feelings of powerlessness.  Maybe our issue is with someone who has passed away.  Maybe we are left feeling disempowered because of a particular religion, or organization, or company culture.

If that’s the case, close your eyes and envision standing in front of that person, organization, etc.  See them standing in front of you wearing a crown.  Calmly watch them as they take the crown off and lay it at your feet.  Pick up the crown and examine it.  Recognize it is YOUR crown and put it back where it belongs…on the top of your head.  Allow the image of the other person to dissolve effortlessly.

Repeat this visualization any time you feel you’ve let your power go.  (And, don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this exercise.  Highly charged symbols such as a crowns carry subconscious power.)

And while you’re at it…is there a crown on your head that belongs to someone else?  You can also visualize giving it back to them.  

So, to review:  notice your silent agreements, take care of what you need to, and…put your crown back on your head.

Retweet, repost, and forward this as much as you like.

And I’m here if you decide you need support with this exercise.  This can be triggering so please, get in touch if you need help with this.

Reclaiming our Sovereignty to overcome our Envy

Reclaiming our Sovereignty to let go of envy

Sovereignty is a word being tossed all around the self help world these days.  And that’s a good thing.  Our world, our communities, and our relationships need to evolve away from the guru mentality and more towards taking responsibility for ourselves and our choices.

As we gain more wisdom, the old model of us being the dutiful student at the feet of our masters has to dissolve.  Our new relationship to leadership, in all of it’s forms, should feel more like we are standing shoulder to shoulder with those that we admire.

The old model breeds disempowerment and often leads to envy.  We become envious of our role models, friends, and public figures.  And in my opinion, envy is one of the causes of the high levels of anxiety many of us struggle with daily. 

When we envy or overly admire someone, we are subconsciously deciding we can’t have what they’ve got.  We often have elaborate stories as to why “poor me isn’t as successful, attractive, wealthy (fill in the blank) as they are.”   As a result, we dim our inner light in the shadow of our worship of these ‘successful’ people or ideals.  

Anything that puts you at the bottom of a pedestal creates the opportunity for over-admiration and envy…which always leads to disempowerment.

I’m not saying we have nothing left to learn from other people.  I believe the opposite is true.  But, I’m saying our approach needs to change to a more equal playing field.  How we handle ourselves and our own power is what will create change in those relationships.  And, will change how we learn from others.

What if, instead of looking at someone and thinking “oh, she’s so in touch with her inner power…I wish I were more like her,” we looked at that person and thought “Oh, she’s showing me how I too can be in touch with my inner power.  She’s reflecting something I’m not yet seeing in myself.”

Isn’t that thought more accurate?

If you are hooked into envying people, then obviously they are triggering something in you that is either dormant or undernourished.  After all, you’re not preoccupied with people you don’t like.  You envy people for something they have, that you want.

For example, if you are envious of your friend who just dropped 10 pounds, ask yourself what she’s revealing to you that you are yet to accept about yourself.  Maybe she made her health a priority and you are still struggling with your bad eating habits.  Maybe she’s showing you that, if you choose to, you too have the capacity to set a clear goal and stick to it.

Maybe you are admiring an inspirational speaker yet feeling bad about your personal progress on your own healing path. What might they be revealing to you?  That you have the power to step up your game or be more disciplined with your practices?  Maybe they are illuminating your need to take more responsibility for your actions.

Because when you see those qualities as something you could cultivate in yourself, you claim your power back.  You own your whole being without being at the mercy of someone else’s success or wisdom.  You stop being envious and become proactive in the creation of your life.

And when you can claim and own all of your power, even where you may still be struggling…THAT is the definition of sovereignty.  And the more you live from that energy, the more you instinctively help others to live in their sovereignty.  You will start to become aware when others are “looking up to you” rather than just taking a cue from your actions.  You can more easily discern what is “their stuff” and what is “your stuff.”  And in owning “your stuff” you automatically empower them with an opportunity to do the same.  It gives both of you the freedom and space to communicate openly.  

So, take a look at the relationships in your life.  Where are you putting your power at the base of a pedestal?  Who are you envious of and why?  Imagine standing shoulder to shoulder with that person…what are they showing you about what’s possible for you?  Where are you giving your power away?  Where, in you, could you cultivate that which you are envious of?

Making this shift will absolutely change your life.  It might change your thoughts about why you eat what you eat.  It might change your thoughts about your wardrobe, how to approach your next conversation with someone, what books you read and who you get advice from.  It will change your personal relationships as well as your global ones….in a good way.  You will be reclaiming your power, reclaiming your sovereignty and simultaneously you’ll be creating a world where others can claim their’s too.

If you are struggling with this issue, get in touch and we’ll dive in deep together.

And remember to repost, retweet, and forward this to your friends.

Making plans based on our past rather than our Future

I see this a lot with my clients and it’s a trap I still fall into on occasion.  And we do this not only when goal setting, but also with our daily to-do lists…we make plans for the future based on our past experiences.  We focus on the mistakes we made and make plans to fix ourselves in some way.  So, if we make our plans based on our past, then our goals become more like to-do lists to gain self esteem.  But the whole point of goal setting and list making is to achieve our true desires. We don’t do those things to feel just ‘okay’.

And yet, it feels almost impossible NOT to set goals based on our past, because reflecting on what worked and what didn’t is helpful when making decisions.  That’s why this new approach is challenging for many of us.

In order for us to create real change in our lives, we must be more committed to creating our lives based on a vision of the future…rather than fixing what’s left over from our past.  And then, we must start to behave in ways that we would behave if that future vision were here already.  And those daily actions become our new to-do lists.  Our behavior changes to match the energy of what we are manifesting for our future.

Again, it’s not just your vision of your future that creates change.  The actions you take based on that vision are how you really begin to create your heart’s desires.  

How you behave, on a daily basis, will affect your future.  

If you view your future self in a beautiful home, then what can you do about your space right now?  Are there dying plants in the corners and clutter in your drawers?  What actions can you take now as if you had already found that home?

If your goal is to have an amazing trip to Europe, what actions would you be taking if the trip was already planned out and paid for?  Can you start taking those actions now?

If cutting back on sugar is a goal, then what are you no longer buying at the store?  If you envision yourself completely free of your addiction to sugar,  what is no longer in your cupboards?  (hint hint…go and throw out those cookies, now!)

You must be more committed to your future than to what’s not working right now.  In other words, if you were free from your issues, what would your life look like?  Start to act as if it is already manifesting in your life.

I recommend writing it out.  Pull out your journal or a piece of paper and write out, in detail:  how your life will look when you have achieved that goal.  And emotionally, connect to that vision.  Write out how you feel.  And, what are you DOING in that vision?  What specific actions are you taking?  What are you no longer doing?

Then, go deeper and answer these questions:

What thoughts would I put my energy behind?

What would I believe about myself?

How would I talk to myself?

How would I act?

How would I feel?

What has been eliminated?

How would it feel to live this way everyday?

The more specific you are, the more you will know exactly what’s on your to-do list and what’s not. 

Start setting up your days from this future perspective and leave your past where it belongs…in the past.  Reread your future vision every morning before starting your day. Then, think, behave, and take the daily actions you would if you already had what you wanted…and enjoy the journey as your life begins to change.

If this feels overwhelming to you, get in touch and we’ll break it down together.  For many of us, this is such a new way of approaching our goals that we need the support of someone else.  


Tolerating Joy

…another look at why we sabotage ourselves

We all get in our own way at times.  Whether it’s conscious or not, we are all prone to self sabotage…especially when things are starting to go well for us.

Whatever our negative behavior is, we are stopping the good stuff from flowing in because we are afraid of change.  Rationally, we know that this change is good for us but our subconscious is only interested in protecting us from the unknown.  i.e. change.

But although all sabotage is based on fear, our personal reasons for this fear vary greatly.

For some of us, it’s a belief from childhood that we are unworthy of success or that something is secretly wrong with us.  So, success would expose our hidden flaws to the world.

For others, it’s the fear of leaving people behind, or fearing that ‘outshining’ others will cause you to lose the people you love.

But there is another reason that is rarely discussed by the experts…our fear of joy.

On its face, that sounds ludicrous.  Who doesn’t want to be happy?  Of course that’s what everybody wants.  However, some of us have negative experiences when feeling joyful.  For example, sometimes marriages end when children are quite young.  Chances are, their kid’s lives are pretty happy until the family broke up.  But the trauma of having their family pulled apart can be earth-shattering.  Children don’t have the reasoning capacity that adults do and often will think they are responsible for the family’s destruction.  We’ve all heard that before…children thinking their parents split up because of something they personally did wrong.  And so their joy was quickly turned into pain and a new belief was created.

And let’s not underestimate the power of envy.  This is another example of associating negative feelings to joy.  Often when a person starts taking control of their health or succeeding at their goals, an envious friend or family member will make a remark that hurts their feelings.  Sometimes that envious person will go so far as to take actions against them like buying them a box of chocolates when they know sugar is a trigger for that person.  Whether it’s a mean comment or a destructive action, the feeling inflicted is the same…pain.

So, what does this have to do with why we sabotage ourselves when we are feeling good?

Because if you associate feeling good with a punishment on the horizon, you are more likely to create something painful now rather than wait to get hit by something unknown.  It’s a way of having control over your pain, as dysfunctional as that may sound.  One of my clients described it as “I’m cutting myself off at the knees before someone else does”.

Think back to a time when things were going great and then you did something to sabotage it.  Maybe you lost a few pounds and “treated” yourself to a slice of pizza that turned into a week long binge.  Maybe you got a promotion and that night you celebrated a little too hard and ended up with a DUI.  Maybe you had an amazing weekend away with your spouse and then picked a fight on the drive home.

I distinctly remember leaving a yoga class feeling absolutely fantastic.  The sun was shining, I felt great in my skin, and then the thought “muffins” popped into my head.  That would have been the perfect behavior to sabotage my bliss…loading up on carbs and sugar.

At the time this happened, I was working with a life coach and told her how confused I was about about this reaction:  One second feeling great, and then wanting to ruin it as quickly as possible.  Together we realized that for me, anytime I have lost weight, gotten healthy, or taken any major step towards my own health, I’ve binged.  We traced this back further to how things were in my family growing up.  The pattern was evident.  I would accomplish something, I’d be rewarded with minimal praise, and then the expectations were raised and I was given a new challenge to face.  Meaning, anytime I did well, I’d have to do better the next time.  So feeling good about what I had accomplished was quickly followed with the pressure to do better.  It became clear that I associated feeling good to feeling pressure.  And rather than not knowing when that pressure might come up, I preferred to just kill the joy as quickly as possible and get it over with.  

So again, it’s about fear and control.

Does this resonate for you?  If it does, take a few minutes and journal about your childhood.  Specifically, see if you can figure out what patterns were created around joy, and what pain you experienced that you attributed to feeling good.  What patterns stem from those experiences?  The clearer you can be, the better.

Then, when you are tempted to sabotage, you can be clear about what is really going on.  You can even ask yourself…”I notice I’m resisting feeling good…what are my beliefs about that?  What bad thing am I thinking might happen, if I allow this joy into my life?”

Being curious about why we do what we do gives us invaluable information.  Because whatever your behavior is, it’s unique to you and your history.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this!  And if you know you need help with this process, get in touch and we’ll figure it out together.

And as always, retweet, repost, and share this with your friends.

Why waiting for ‘mastery’ is just another excuse

“Waiting for Mastery is Foolish!” – Tara Bliss

This is a common excuse many of us use to hold ourselves back. We think we have to have figured everything out before taking action.

But likely, whatever your goals are, be it writing a play, redoing your bathroom, finding a new job…you probably have some skills already and can get started right away. That’s not to say that at some point you won’t need to learn more skills or get help. You likely will. But, that’s not a reason to not start TODAY.

The truth is, no ideas have ever been perfectly executed and nobody is ever truly prepared for the future.

These are the most common excuses I hear:

“Once I’ve lost weight, I’ll ______________.”
“Once I’ve gotten certified, I’ll ____________.”
“Once I’ve gotten over my past, I’ll _____________.”

Usually anytime we say “Once I’ve” we are making a big excuse. And this is a sneaky one because there may be partial truth to it.

For example, depending on your goals, weight loss might be a good idea. But, I’m sure there are some steps you can take towards your goals WHILE losing the weight. You don’t need to have your weight where you want it to get started today.

Is getting certified as a yoga instructor a good idea for being a successful yoga teacher? Of course it is. BUT, if that is your desire, then you are likely already doing lots of yoga! And, you could probably find some people to practice your teaching skills with.

Waiting to get over your past? Good luck with that one!

Here are two examples of women whom I not only admire, but I’ve received unlimited inspiration and healing from. And, they both started without waiting to figure it all out first.

Geneen Roth is a best selling writer and world renowned speaker on the topic of emotional eating. She also has healing retreats for women struggling with their various eating disorders. She started by getting together with 5 or so women, charging them $10 a meeting, and inviting them to all discuss their issues with food. She did not wait to get any formal training, and, she did not wait to figure out her own issues with food…she just put it out there and the women showed up. Now, she is known as THE expert on emotional eating.

Tara Bliss is also a best selling writer, spiritual life coach, and inspirational speaker. She also offers web-classes that help women from all over the world. How did she create all this? With a blog. What was her plan? Well, at the time she decided to create an on-line space, she lived in Japan and was picking oranges for a living. She had no clue what she was intending for her future, she just knew, she wanted to share her stories with other women and created the now famous “Such Different Skies” blog. She wrote her stories, shared pictures, favorite music, put up videos…and people started taking notice. Now, she speaks all over the world, has a thriving essential oil business, and coaches women on a global scale.

And, personally, I’ve asked many of the successful people I’ve met, “when did you know you were ready to start?”

Usually I get a good laugh from that question and the answer is almost always, “If I’d waited to feel ready, I never would have started!”

“If something is important enough, you do it.” – Elon Musk. I’d say he’s a pretty successful guy!

So, listen in to your self talk…are the words “Once I’ve…” a part of your inner dialogue?

There will never be a perfect time to start…except for RIGHT NOW. So don’t wait.

As I’ve said before, the world needs that special gift that you and only you can share. Holding back until you’re “ready” is only holding you back…it’s not contributing to the world.

I’d love to hear from you about this…both your excuses AND the actions you took anyway.

And as always, retweet, repost, and forward this to a friend.

And then…Go for it!!!

Harnessing Your Subconscious

Harnessing the Power of our Subconscious Minds

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” -Socrates

This is where many of us trip up when trying to change our behaviors. We focus on the problem rather than the solution. And even if we create a clear vision of what we want to achieve, often we still find ourselves back to our old patterns that no longer serve us. It feels like no matter what we do, we sabotage our best efforts to succeed.

Here’s the thing about self sabotage…it’s always about fear. Fear of change, fear of failure, fear of losing the ones we love…

And that throws us right in the middle of a catch 22 because we both want and fear change. To succeed at something, we have to risk failure. And sometimes success does require us to let go of certain relationships.

So, how do we bypass this natural desire to stay safe?

By utilizing our subconscious minds.

And here’s the truth: “If you are struggling to achieve something, it is because your subconscious beliefs don’t match your conscious desires.” – Bruce Lipton

And those beliefs were mostly formed in our childhood. Which means, those beliefs are likely to be outdated and inaccurate.

The subconscious mind has no emotions, no fears, no judgments. The subconscious mind simply looks to replicate that which it has been programmed to experience. So if your childhood taught you that it was best to stay quiet rather than rock the boat, then you are probably still silencing your voice and your power without being aware of it.

That old saying “My buttons just got pushed…” is true. When you are reacting to something without thinking about it, your subconscious is in control and yes, your buttons are indeed being pushed.

So, how can we reprogram our subconscious to work with us rather than against us?

With a little prep, some repetition, and utilizing the moments we are drifting off to sleep.

Pull out a piece of paper. You are going to write your year in retrospect. In other words, you’re going to write out your year like it already happened and you achieved everything you wanted to achieve.

I like to start with “2018 was the year I ____________”. Include deadlines, like, “May 15th I hosted a table read and got my rewrites done by June 15th”.

The clearer and more specific you are, the better.

Then, pull out your smart phone and put on the voice recorder. Record your year in retrospect…with your own voice.

Then, listen to your recording every day. And especially, right before falling asleep.

(And yes, getting used to our own voice can be barfy at first but believe me you’ll get over that pretty fast.)

As we’re falling asleep, our brain waves shift their pace and we are in a state similar to hypnosis. So by hearing your own voice celebrating your year of success, you are programing your subconscious to make those images become your reality. Your subconscious will literally look for opportunities to make those new behaviors possible. Because again, that’s all it’s doing. Its replicating what it’s been programmed to experience.

You can also harness this force for short terms goals as well. Let’s say you have a big meeting tomorrow, you can do a quick voice recording, celebrating the fact that your meeting went great. Then, listen to it not only throughout the day but also before you fall asleep.

And, if you’ve tried but really can’t get past listening to your voice, I recommend writing out that which you wish to manifest, in great detail, and then visualizing it fully before falling asleep.

Also…if you are one of those people who wakes up in the middle of the night, you can use that time to visualize the changes you want to see in your life. Again, you’ll be reprograming your mind as you drift in and out of consciousness. (I did that after my dental surgery earlier this year. I spent my restless nights of interrupted sleep consciously visualizing the Doctor telling me that I had healed faster than normal. Which is exactly what happened. I was back to normal in one week. He said, it’s at least 2-3 weeks for the average person to heal to the point I had. Yay…no more trips to the dental surgeon!)

So write out what you want to accomplish this year. Big goals, little goals…set the dates as to when you accomplished all of them. Record it on your smart phone and then simply listen throughout the day and especially before you fall asleep.

We all have the capacity to manifest joy and happiness in our lives. Use your subconscious mind to create all that you desire in your life.

One thing I offer people is putting their voice recording to music so they have their own unique meditation track. (I can also record using my voice if that’s preferable.) We work together to write exactly what you want to hear, professionally record it, and choose music that helps you relax and go into a meditative state. If that is something that interests you, get in touch and we’ll record something special for you.

And as always, retweet, repost, and forward this to your friends.

Unplugging for the Day

How much time do you waste every day on social media? According to Google, most people spend a minimum of 1 hour and 40 minutes scrolling through their social media accounts.

Yes, you read that right…1 hour and 40 minutes…EVERY DAY.

And how often have I heard the excuse “I don’t have enough time.” I hear it with almost everyone I work with and, I’m guilty of saying that too!

But, for now, forget about the time you are wasting while scrolling through Facebook…how much ENERGY are you wasting as well. What are you actually contributing to and as a result, how much creativity are you letting slip by?

What would happen if you unplugged for an entire 24 hours? What might come up?

When I first did this, I realized very quickly how addicted I was to checking my email. I probably checked it 20 times a day. By unplugging, I saw how many times I mindlessly check in and delete the junk mail. I also felt a little anxious. There was an underlying “fomo”…fear of missing out. Once that subsided I noticed I actually felt LESS anxious than normal and was able to think more intuitively and allow for some creative ideas to surface that hadn’t occurred to me before.

Here is a truth about addictive behavior: It gobbles up time you could be spending doing something else.

Another truth: It squashes creative ideas. You’re simply too busy to notice them.

Years ago I coached the employees of a company through a weight loss challenge. They were divided into teams and each got a private phone session with me to help them strategize, etc. They all sent me emails telling me about themselves, their eating patterns, etc.

One man was morbidly obese and diabetic. When we spoke over the phone the first thing I suggested he do is pick up a hobby, preferably something where he used his hands. “When you give up your addiction to food, you will have so much free time on your hands….you’ll need something to do.” He started to laugh. Then told me he remembered being amazed at how much time he had after he’d given up drinking. He’d asked me if I’d ever been to AA and I said, “no, but I was a 2 pack a day smoker years ago…I had no idea how much time I was wasting taking ‘smoke breaks’.”

Same thing with technology addiction. Science has proven that we get a little ‘hit’ every time we post online or get a ‘like’. But that comes at a cost. It not only costs us our time, but our intuition and creative ideas as well.

In order for us to use our intuition and develop our creativity, we need to slow down and open ourselves up to our natural rhythms of thoughts and emotions.

This is true for our physical health as well. Practices like Yoga and Pilates are great for becoming present in our bodies. But not if your phone is on and you’re checking texts between poses. No. You have to turn your phone OFF for that time period to experience the power of the present moment.

So here’s my challenge to you. Schedule a day where you can go completely off line. If you are a parent, you’ll still need to have your phone handy in case of an emergency. BUT, you do not have to check Facebook, Pintrest, Instagram, etc. You don’t need to check your emails either.

Do this for one day this week. Don’t just think about how it might feel…actually UNPLUG for 24 hours. Notice what that brings up for you? Notice if feelings of panic or loneliness or come up. Maybe you feel depressed or bored. Or maybe you feel elated and free. Notice any creative or intuitive ideas that may pop up and how much time you have to actually act on them.

Personally, I’ve made this a weekly habit that I now look forward to. It’s a gift of freedom and creative expansion I give myself every week.

Let me know how this goes for you! And as always, retweet, repost, and forward this to a friend. And then? Sign off for 24 hours.

Are you Waiting for Permission? From Who?!?

Remember when you were a kid? You had to have your parent’s permission to take field trips, miss school, etc. You had to ask permission to speak, go to the bathroom…you even needed permission slips to walk down the halls when classes were in session.

(I actually got busted for writing fake permission slips in junior high! Well, the teachers never figured out it was me, but one of my friends did get in trouble for the fake slip. I spelled Tuesday wrong…I never was very good at spelling…)

Our childhoods were a time when we really didn’t have control over very much of our lives, certainly not in school. And unless we were allowed to make some decisions for ourselves at home, we were never given the tools to have agency over our lives.

And now as adults, we are still waiting for permission to express our power, our creativity, and our voices. Look at how many women stayed quiet for so long before the women’s movement began? It took many brave women to come forward and share their experiences regardless of whether they were “permitted” to do so. And their bravery started a movement that has only just begun.

So, what are you afraid will happen if you speak up and claim your power? For me, the answer has always been, “I don’t want to offend anyone.” That has kept me quiet and safe time after time.

What about you? Are you afraid of losing love? Feeling embarrassed? Triggering anger in others? These are all valid fears and very common.

No one is suggesting we lie to ourselves and say we’re not afraid. Because, we are. And sometimes with very good reason.

So instead, let’s try having a different perspective on those fears. Add a few words…

For example, “I don’t want to offend anyone” becomes, “I’m willing to stifle my power so I don’t offend anyone.”

Fear of embarrassment? I’m willing to squander my talents so I don’t feel embarrassed or embarrass anyone else.”

Fear of losing love? “I’m willing to play it safe and dim my inner light so I don’t lose the ones I love.”

How does that feel? If you’re like me, that feels icky and makes me a little angry. My response is, “Screw that! I’m not keeping my mouth shut just so others aren’t offended!”

Where else do you need permission? Are you avoiding exploring your abilities to paint, or sing, or dance? Are you waiting for permission to take a day off for self care? Are you waiting for permission to love and appreciate yourself right now as you are?

I’ll ask you again…What are you afraid of? What do you think will happen if you own that you are lovable just as you are? Are you afraid people will laugh at you or make fun of you? Are you afraid you’ll go to the other extreme and become conceited with an inflated ego?

Rephrase your fears. “I am willing to deny my lovability so that people don’t think I’m conceited”. Ouch.

And, riddle me this, Batman…Who do you think is going to give you this permission in the first place?

You know the answer to that…YOU. No one else is sitting around waiting to give you permission to shine. It’s up to YOU.

So here it is, your own permission slip to be exactly who you want to be and do exactly what you want to do. You have full permission to be your most powerful, creative, lovable self.

Today’s Date:

I, _____________________________, am giving permission to

_________________________ and ____________________.


I suggest you make copies, fill one out every day, and post it where you will see it often. Permission slips are a powerful symbol from our childhood. Taking this action every day will have a profound effect on your life and give you the courage to take action despite your fears.

No more waiting for permission. It’s time to start claiming your power. Now.

Breaking beliefs from our past can be challenging for many of us. If this feels triggering for you and you want some support with it, get in touch and we’ll work on this together.

And as always, retweet, repost, and forward to your friends.

DOING the work…not just Reading about it

Here we are! It’s the new year and most of us have set a goal or two that we are excited about tackling.

And, I’ve already had the pleasure of working with many people as a part of their support team.

But there is one common theme that I’m hearing and I want to squash this form of self sabotage right now… The phrase I’ve heard over and over again? “Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to do that…”

Any exercises, suggestions, advice, including my own, is completely useless unless you actual DO it. You must DO THE WORK to see the results.

Think about it like this…let’s say you want to take up hiking. You buy the gear, research hikes in your area, get directions on how to get there…but don’t go. Well, you’re not a hiker then, are you?

If you want to be an actor, you have to act. If you want to be a painter, you have to paint. If you want to run a marathon, you have to run. Just reading about it, ain’t gonna get you nowhere.

And if you want to break free from limiting patterns and break bad habits, you have to actually DO THE EXERCISES you learn about rather than just read them and say you’ll get to it later. Putting them in your ‘flagged’ email folder doesn’t help either. Most of us are guilty of doing this. We make a note of doing something we read and then say “I’ll do this later.”

Nope. You won’t. None of us will. Unless you do it NOW or SCHEDULE when you will do it.

And, for the record, if I say an exercise is quick and easy, it really is! I’m not lying to you. Stop what you’re doing and do the exercise right now, instead of not doing it at all. And, if I say you need to take some time to sit and write about something, that’s true too. Sometimes it is best to wait and find the time you need to really go deep. But if that’s the case, you have to SCHEDULE that time. Because be it a big assignment or a little one, both are useless unless you actually do them.

So, how about we change that limiting behavior right now? What is one assignment you can do right now? (all of my newsletters are available at What step can you take right now that will bring you closer to achieving your goals? What task can you complete so you can mark it off the to-do list, right now?

Start doing this every day. Pick ONE thing that you can DO to further you along your path.

The good news is, when you practice following through on a daily basis, it becomes a habit and your resistance and excuses are replaced with action and achievements.

So… pick one thing and go DO it now.

And, if you don’t know what steps to take to achieve your goals, get in touch and together we’ll put together a concise plan of action so you can get started today. Maybe getting in touch with me is the step you’ve been ‘thinking’ about instead of actually ‘doing’?

Now is the perfect time to start.

As always, retweet, repost, and forward to your friends.

And Happy New Year to all of you!!!


Give yourself the Gift of Support in 2018

Okay, the New Year is almost here.

This is the perfect time to have a little face to face reality check with yourself, and…set up next year to be the best one yet.

What worked for you this year? When were you awesome? What did you manage to pull off despite the odds? Kudos to you…you rock!

And now, look back and ask yourself, what didn’t happen this year? Where did I stumble and fail to get back up?

Most likely, none of us accomplished all we had hoped to achieve. We all fell short of something this past year. I’m yet to meet a perfect person. (except for my cat)

But the fact is, you are more likely to overcome those set backs by asking for help from the right people.

No addict ever got sober alone. No book was ever published without being edited by at least one other person. No house was built single handedly. No community was created in a bubble.

We ALL need support.

So looking back at this past year, where could you have asked for help but didn’t? We’re all guilty of this! Don’t beat yourself up about it…just be honest.

Where could you have used some extra support?

Go get it. Now. Be generous with yourself and get the support you need.

Book the therapy appointment. Buy a series of workouts with a trainer. Book your first session of the year with your health coach, writing coach, life coach, spiritual coach. Sign up now for that meditation class or painting class or college class.

Not having the money is no excuse. Sign yourself up NOW. The minute you step up by signing up, the funds show up. I’ve seen this more times than I can tell you. When you take a stand for yourself, the universe supports you…always.

And, by committing right away, you will feel both relaxed and excited about next year. Why? Because you will hit the ground running with your support system already in place. Any resistance you have to getting help will already be muted. And, the likelihood of next year being the year you kick ass is far more likely now that you already have the support of others.

Give this gift of support to yourself…Now.

You deserve it!

And, that includes reserving time with me! Get in touch and let’s get a date on the books for 2018…let’s make 2018 the year we make it happen!

Here’s to a wonderful New Year.

As always, retweet, repost and share with everyone