Not surprisingly, I received a lot of emails after my last newsletter “Reclaiming our Sovereignty to overcome our Envy”. (If you missed it you can read all of my newsletters at brigittadau.com) A lot of people had questions about how to discern if they had given away their power and how to get it back.
So, I’m going to address those questions today.
The first way to see if you are giving away your power, is to look at the relationships in your life and question the unspoken agreements you are making. Some silent agreements are just fine and serve a good purpose. But if you are left feeling icky after noticing them, then there is a good chance you are giving up your power to keep a disempowering agreement.
Here are some examples:
“I stay quiet when you say racist things.”
“I pretend not to notice when you are doing ‘that thing’.” (replace with whatever behavior that resonates for you)
“Do not upset Mom, Dad, etc”
“I look the other way when our coworker is bullying someone.”
“If you are having a bad day, I put my problems off to the side. You come first.”
“We don’t talk about our childhoods.”
“I’m responsible for my siblings.”
“I need you to rescue me.”
These are just a few examples of silent agreements that leave people feeling disempowered. And they almost always stem from not wanting to rock the boat…even if it’s to our own benefit.
As always, I recommend getting these thoughts out of your head by writing them down. Once they’re on the page, you can look at them with more objectivity.
How do you feel about these agreements? If they are leaving you feeling disempowered then what can you do about it? Is there a conversation you need to have with someone? Are there some actions you could be taking that you’ve been avoiding? Can you change the way YOU behave when this agreement comes up?
If there is something you can do to bring light to this area, then I encourage you to do so. Have the conversation or change the pattern. It will feel risky and scary at first, but claiming your power is worth the risk.
Sometimes, however, there is nothing that we can directly do to alter our feelings of powerlessness. Maybe our issue is with someone who has passed away. Maybe we are left feeling disempowered because of a particular religion, or organization, or company culture.
If that’s the case, close your eyes and envision standing in front of that person, organization, etc. See them standing in front of you wearing a crown. Calmly watch them as they take the crown off and lay it at your feet. Pick up the crown and examine it. Recognize it is YOUR crown and put it back where it belongs…on the top of your head. Allow the image of the other person to dissolve effortlessly.
Repeat this visualization any time you feel you’ve let your power go. (And, don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this exercise. Highly charged symbols such as a crowns carry subconscious power.)
And while you’re at it…is there a crown on your head that belongs to someone else? You can also visualize giving it back to them.
So, to review: notice your silent agreements, take care of what you need to, and…put your crown back on your head.
Retweet, repost, and forward this as much as you like.
And I’m here if you decide you need support with this exercise. This can be triggering so please, get in touch if you need help with this.